Stick-Your-Head-in-the-Sand Day

Monday morning. I’m now through my second cup of coffee and have scanned the headlines to learn the following:

  • Iran is close to having nuclear capability, causing the U.S. to ratchet up its threat of possibly talking about sanctions.
  • Ocean acidification is destroying the marine food chain and endangering the future of shellfish farming, the seafood industry and the spread of Red Lobster.
  • The federal deficit-reduction panel can’t agree on anything (no news here)–including whether to cut some $200 million to promote the sales of American crops overseas, because one credit-rating reduction wasn’t enough.
  • More deadly virus has been detected in Northwest salmon, which means it’s only a matter of time before we need to be vaccinated for the salmon flu.
  • The earthquake in Oklahoma is part of a puzzling jump in seismic activity in that state and Arkansas, leading to fears about the safety of fracking and concerns that our West Coast faults have become passé.
  • A 1,300-foot asteroid will pass between the orbit of the moon and the Earth tomorrow at a range of about 201,700 miles. It should miss, but the Apophis Asteroid may slam into the Earth in 2036.
  • My morning coffee could lead to hip fractures, depression and fatigue, causing scientists to wonder about the bean’s value as a stimulant.

That leaves out recent information that the world will end next year (since it didn’t on Oct. 21), that new viruses capable of decimating human populations lurk in the rain forest; that Obama, Romney, Herman Cain or . . . is poised to win the White House; and that global warming will soon destroy coffee and chocolate production.  No wonder I’m sitting here with my hands trembling and my teeth clenched–oh no, wait, that was the coffee. But I have decided one of the biggest ills of our society is information overload. And I propose to do something about it: National Stick-Your-Head-in-the-Sand Day.

On this day, we’re all forbidden to read a headline, connect to the Internet or turn on the TV. This may mean staying at home, since we’ll also want to avoid traffic congestion, protestors, warning signs and places like the mall, where we run the risk of finding out our social lives are doomed unless we buy $50 kits to remove, re-shape, re-draw and re-texture our eyebrows. It also might be best to hold the holiday on a weekend, so we can sidestep our children’s schools and worries that they’re not keeping up with the Chinese; and work, where we might hear rumors of layoffs or pay cuts.

Instead, I plan to sit at home with my family and a cup of tea, play a game or two, pet my annoying cat and be grateful for another day.

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